November 2015

Nov. 2 Evy woke up with a sucker stuck in her hair 2 times in one week. It was a fun cleanup.

Nov. 4 at Maddox Steakhouse.

Nelson and I had to start back at Huntsman again for consults and infusions. We hated going there so much. It made us both physically sick with anxiety. We would go to lunch or dinner afterwards just the two of us to try to have some alone time. I tried to reward him with a nice dinner after each treatment. He always wanted seafood. I always told him I would ship him seafood from Maine if it meant it would make him happy. (and to make him eat. He didn't care much for food the past year.)

Nelson looked online forever for a blow up turkey. I remember watching him at the computer surprised that he made that such a priority. That's just him though. He finds an obsession and goes with it. He said he hates how everyone skips past Thanksgiving and goes straight for Christmas. So he bought this hoping people would remember. I sure love my guy. I remember watching people speed past my house unaware of the significance of this turkey and what the person that bought it was struggling with. I set it up for him so he could see it when he came home from work that day.

 

Nolan trying baby cookies. What a mess. What a cute mess though.

Evy and I cooked our own pumpkins and pureed them to freeze this year. We loved it and have continued doing it. Nelson is usually at work when I make my huge canning messes but he came home in the midst of this one. He just couldn't handle the mess and started cleaning things as I was using them. (I did eventually clean it up by the way but I waited until I was done) I think every Ashworth has that trait. They can't stand any mess whatsoever, even a productive one like this!

Evy and Nelson like to snuggle and watch tv.

We got our family pictures done on November 8th. We had never gotten family pictures since Nolan was born since Nelson went through chemo. We were waiting for his hair to grow back and him to gain weight. Since he was starting chemo yet again, we decided we better hurry and take pictures. This whole photo shoot I was terrified this would be our last family photo session. Every fear was streaming through my body. I was not relaxed like I appear. This was my family. Nelson and I worked so hard to get here. We were so happy. Now my sweet family was threatened. This ended up being our only photo session with the 5 of us. We only got to be a family of 5 for 9 short months.

His hair hadn't grown back completely but he looked so good here. I think this picture shows that Nelson was my peace, my home.

Nelson and Coleman

Nolan and Nelson

My sweet Nelson. This was his obituary picture. Dang it. I'm still so mad that 3 months after this photo was taken, he had to leave us.

Nelson bought this canoe against my wishes during college. We were so poor and he buys a canoe! It's so Nelson. He just lived for adventure. Well we loved this canoe. So many stories with it. I asked him if we could take our photos in the canoe. We had already taken the canoe rack off the truck for the year. But sure enough when I came home from work the day before, he had put the canoe rack back on and put the canoe on the truck all by himself. I cried and cried. He was so good to me. I wondered what I was going to do without him.

I love the analogy of these pictures. Nelson always rowed and guided while I helped the kids or assisted to row. I thought of this as he rowed. He guided us through everything in life.

Nov. 9

The next day was my birthday. I turned 36. It was the worst birthday of my life. Nelson didn't take off work. He was worried about his upcoming chemo and worried to take time off. I tried to do things with my boys that I would enjoy to make the best of it while Evy was at school. I just pretty much cried the whole day. I was so worried this would be my last birthday with him. He brought me these flowers then we went to a birthday party with my kids for my neighbor's daughter. Then we went on a date night another night. I didn't feel like celebrating at all.

Nov. 11

Nolan turned 7 months.

Nov. 12

Poor Nolan being subjected to Evy's picking. She loves to pick through people's hair. Nelson was her favorite. He always let her.

Nov. 12

Evy drew this and hung it in her room. Anything that brings us cheer I am game for. "Happiness can show love. What a good thing."

Nov. 14

Finally painted the piano.

Evy drew this of Nelson and me.

Nov. 15

Visiting Leonard. He had been hospitalized and found he had blood clots in his lungs from cancer. This was the last time we saw him. He actually outlived Nelson and died on Memorial Day.

Coleman made a face tickler for me. mmmkay.....

Nov. 16

Coleman playing in his toddler costume.

Nov. 17

Evy lost a tooth in the tub. She loses teeth in the weirdest places.

Nelson and Coleman getting ready for prayers. I loved this moment. Coleman sure loved his dad.

Nov. 21

Eating berries.

Nov. 23

Coleman likes to drag Nolan. Poor Nolan I always think, but he actually laughs.

Nov. 24

Bedtime

Play doh.

Nov. 25

Don't you want to wear this when you go outside in the winter?

Thanksgiving at our house for the first time. Well Nelson had a horrible flu the previous two weeks he passed to all of us. He was just not improving very well. You can see he didn't feel well this day. This was the beginning of his cancer now in full force. Just two weeks prior, he felt really well.

Nov. 26 making gingerbread houses. During dinner we all went around the table and said what we were thankful for. We ladies just cried and cried. We were all so scared.

Nov. 26

Linley, Nolan, Coleman, Evy and Sawyer.

Nov. 29

Nelson gets lulled to sleep when they do this. Nelson lived in this thermal shirt at home. Every single day.

Nov. 30

I got stuck in the snow in a canyon driving for work. The person that helped me out was actually Nelson's friend Robin's sister-in-law. Her husband ended up engraving Nelson's headstone. This wasn't a coincidence.

Nov. 30

Coleman likes to put things by my tires. Good thing I check before I drive away.